Saturday, November 3, 2012

Slumber Mists


                                                         
                                                   -Pori Teronpi

My brother awakened me as if my view was dimmed by the mystery lurking on my doubtful mind which could not properly contrast the real from hallucination. The room was filled with scented fragrance of sandalwood and wild flowers which imbibed my mind to relax like a dead man cut out from the living world. My heart did not have the vast heaviness of the mighty river’s sorrow which used to fix my imagination to the secrecy of the mighty river’s arm. I looked at my brother who glowed immensely and a smile glued to his lips, he looked into my eyes as if ready to give me the answers I have often thought of questioning him. I stretched my hands to touch him and my mouth spoke thus- “where were you? You have hurt me a lot. I spent the evenings alone by the banks of the mighty river trying to solve its prophecy. Without you, its vastness has engulfed me into its mysterious bosom which has strengthened my heart and soul, but weakened my jest for adopting the many faces of time. My destination is all wrecked like an abandoned ship in a haunted island where ghosts and spirits exist without any existence. Why have you left our song incomplete compelling me to take the help of intoxicants to trace the right words to weave it with? It is still incomplete and it haunts me like a curse weakening me to embrace the meaner way of living an old age lost in the realm of loneliness. Could not you see the sorrow you have bestowed upon me by leaving me at the hands of fate which used the yolk out of me and deprived me of happiness? The sorrow is much greater than the pain you have inflicted upon me a few years back when you vanished from my side during our journey to grandpa’s house. I thought I had lost you forever when I could not find you after my long search that lasted an entire day. How was I to know that you had already reached grandpa’s house taking the shortest route when I was too engrossed talking to the village girls? My happiness knew no bound when you confided to me about your yearning for Madhumalati which later bloomed to a relationship that made way for a blissful marriage. I lifted you up infront of the crowds which were applauded by everyone present there. I am still unable to unearth the mystery that had always surrounded your youthful heart which had unkempt you to leave me and Madhumalati, all alone in this wild and cruel world. Did not you once think about us and the positiveness of the future that would have been otherwise a complete song of heaven had you been there to cherish with us? What demon had infused you to leave with so much sorrow in your heart without even once sharing them with me? You come now to awaken me and see how happy you have been all these years?”
My brother heaved a heavy breathe and holding my cold hands said, “I never left you dear brother. I have always been near you, with you and in you. My heart did not have any sorrows but I was infatuated by death and its magical realm. I used to wonder at its prophecy, its might and its inevitability. There is nothing more powerful than death and the beauty that solves the mystery of life and the environment surrounding its existence is the answer to which death is the blissful passage. However, I did not run after death. It was death who wanted to embrace me and introduced me to its gulf. I have never understood life for life itself held secret from me which used to disturb my mind. But now, I know the deepest of the secrets life has kept away from human kind.”
I interrupted him at this and spoke to him sentimentally, “what about Madhumalati? Was death sweeter than her love?”
My brother smiled and said, “Love is enchanting. It is in the mind, in the heart. Death is around us. Death divides the soul from mortal but cannot separate soul from its soul. I am her soul. I live for she lives. I am alive in her the way I am alive in you in your every breath. My body is all dust but my soul is immortal and so is my love.”
 My words were lost at his hearings and I could ask no more, but prompted myself into asking this, “why come now then and speaking to me in life?”
“I come,” my brother said, “to enlighten your mind to prepare for the destiny you will be partaking at the behest of God. The fogged mind needs to be cleaned and wiped out of doubts and illusions. I have come here to speak to you of life and its greatness that begins with death. Remember, when I was a kid I used to eat raw mangoes at broad daylight which feared you that it might make me sick and bedridden or otherwise feebly, take the life out of me? It was death that you feared which could have destroyed the life in me. The secret was that death is an unsolved riddle for man because it is uncertain and at the same time unavoidable. But the raw mangoes never killed me, it was something else that killed me. It was ‘time’. Time weaves the thread of death specifically and death does its job accordingly. In truth, death is like a faithful friend, it is time who directs the way death should be put into. I never left you dear brother, my death brought me closer to you. It made you see the real world by opening your eyes to the circle of life thereby hardening your heart to face the cruel crusades of time with utmost composition of strength and vigour. Your song was completed long ago, this is the reason it haunts you to death for the words were already scripted in your heart. My brother, throngs of people see in you the vision they never came upon until you evoked in them your dream. Your heart thrives in thousands and your words echo like the ripples of the streams and brooks in the moonless night which raise the hopes of lone wanderers that there is water nearby to quench their thirsts. My brother, let me take you out of this room.”
I followed my brother to the other room. The scent grew stronger and stronger, sandalwood and wild flowers filled my nostrils which intoxicated my blank mind and I flowed with the fragrance. Madhumalati sat at one corner, always dressed in white. Her gaze was fixed on a stool which my brother had made for her to sit on while cooking food for us. Her eyes did not sparkle and her heart seemed heavy with the burden of loneliness and emptiness of colours in her life. She could not see me; in fact she did not even see the elderly woman sitting near her who was murmuring to her as if in dream.
A cool breeze blows through me which lightened my feet and warmth my heart. I looked at my brother who walked like an emperor walking in his garden, majestically held high and gleaming in beauty. I missed him all through the phases of my life terribly. His voice always chanted poetry to my ailing soul, he revived in me the life which was already dead.
He brought me outside and I could see light everywhere as if the rays of the sun were beaming highly on me without the terror of its heat. The rays warmed me up like a lover who caresses his love to warmth. I could see thousands of people, but my naked eyes seemed to be deceiving me of its spark for I could not see them clearly, they were all fogged.
I asked my brother if there was any prophecy behind the alteration of my otherwise loyal sights. My brother smiled and ran lightly towards the strong rays where the thousands of people I perceived diminished in a blink. He stretched his arms and said, “Are you ready my brother? The livings mourn your death. Your life begins now. Will you hold my hands and enter through the passage that solves the mystery of life and death and the prophecy that surrounds them?”
I awed in surprise and ran back through the room, but one by one, they kept vanishing. I could see Madhumalati no more nor could I see the elderly woman that sat beside her and the thousands of people who stood outside. The rays became stronger and I could see no one until my brother held me up and for one last time I saw my mortal, poised into a deep slumber enjoying his last rite in a decorated vehicle with throngs of people following it along with all sorts of vehicles. My brother smiled at me and I understood why he had come to wake me up. He woke me up from my life and brought me to life after death. I waited to see if I could feel my body burn.
The fire rages on all over my mortal remain and as the body slowly turned into ashes, I felt the warmth of the rays that was slowly embracing me to delve into the realm of infinity to which I was still ignorant and unaware... I could hear voices chanting- Long live the man! He lives on forever!
I vanished into the clouds…

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